I think I am morally bankrupt
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
