omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
