Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
