If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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