just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
