My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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