he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
