Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
