you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
