Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
