Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
