I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
