He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
