It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
