The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
