i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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