Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
