i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
