How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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