Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
