Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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