R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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