So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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