I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just tell him i said nine months
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
