Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
