dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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