do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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