Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
