We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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