We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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