I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
