well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
