I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
