I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
