My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think my moral compass just broke
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
