Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
