i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
