i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
