So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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