My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
