He felt like a one man threesome
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
