Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
