what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
