Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
