One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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