So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
