I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
