If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
