I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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