i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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