it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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