you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
