You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
