My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
